Friday, February 24, 2006

Vote Early and Often

With the campaign over, it is now up to the voters. Sort of.

With early voting beginning Monday, how do you think it will affect the election?

In the past, polling and advertising were complete and then voting began. Now, the situation seems more fluid, with polls and slam ads occurring after citizens may have cast ballots.

These figures seem alittle high, but some officials state that when early voting is an option, 20%-50% of the residents vote before the official election day.

If true, it could dramatically alter how Illinois elections are waged.

If a Gidwitz sleaze piece falls into a mailbox, but the recipient has already voted, does it make a sound?

I think the red head may have this race wrapped up.

Dupage County early voting locations
Chicago early voting locations
Lake County early voting locations
Cook County early voting locations
Springfield early voting location

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Lost Boys

Pathetic.

The image of four men taunting a woman was simply sad.

But the red head fought back, kicking them all in their small bit areas and showing us why she wins elections.

I blame 15% Gidwitz, the lead mosquito who attacked first.

His non-campaign (unfortunately influenced by Alan Keyes' handlers) has begun to assault Topinka about her ethics and morality, but instead of drawing blood, he has reduced himself to a 1/2 cm itchy lump.

Throughout the gangbang, Judy was gracious and called them all gentleman. These "gentleman" reciprocated and implied she was a political whore.

They are men without manners, men without vision, just sad boys lost in the fog of their own ineptitude.

Pathetic indeed.

CP: illinoisshadow.blogspot.com

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Contest Mania

The Shadow is offering a large Kit Kat bar to the first person who can correctly identify the following flags?

Saturday, February 18, 2006

And now a word from our sponsor...

Door #1: Ron Gidwitz is an outsider fighting the Combine.

Door #2: Ron Gidwitz is an insider who has supported the Combine.

Final Answer: Ding, Ding, Ding. Door #2 (Type in Gidwitz' last name, his first name (Ronald), search and giggle at his hypocrisy).

Comments On

Friends, countryman and bloggers, reminded me that I did not have comments on. Now I do. So feel free.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Ron, Picasso and Budweiser

As pressure mounts on Illinois gubernatorial candidate Ron Gidwitz to pull his slam ads, he continues to assert that he is just regular Ron trying to help the little guy.

And to prove he is just like us, the New York Times is reporting today that he and his family are selling their original Picasso, valued at fifty million dollars.

“I am so street,” said Gidwitz. “This painting is so bizarre, and, besides, I think Picasso was a liberal.”

“This is a win-win,” commented Gidwitz spokesperson, Francis Cotter Wilson Wellington III. “Some of the profit will help Mr. Gidwitz take additional classes on how to drink a Bud, understand Nascar and talk to people of color.”

When asked about the intended sale, fellow GOP candidate Bill Brady told CBS2 Chicago reporter Mike Flannery:

“I have never met this Mr. Pichacho, but if he is liberal, I don’t want his vote.”

CP: Illinois Shadow

Friday, February 10, 2006

Get Nutty


Two days ago the Shadow broke the story about John Cox running to be number 44.

Good for Cox.

Not that he has a prayer to occupy 1600. But at least he tries, again, again and again.

I tire quickly of the gadfly stories, the slams, the giggles. Most that laugh at Cox (including me) probably live life too safe.

Seriously, if you think Cox’s life is a joke, note your surroundings—your cubicle adorned with Far Side cartoons; that 4% raise; the sweater from 1982; your filthy 2000 Honda Odyssey; your very, very predictable life.

Yes, Cox is about ego. But so am I. So are you.

Give the man a break, and today, follow his lead and do something totally insane, even if people whisper and snicker, “you’re such a Cox.”

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

He's back...

Sometimes I am speechless. This is one of those moments.

Cox for President

Friday, February 03, 2006

If you don't have anything nice to say...

Eric Krol of the Daily Herald has penned an interesting piece on the Governor’s race. The ever-optimistic Krol seems to imply that “going nuclear” or “blasting” Topinka is the only way for Oberweis or Gidwitz to break out and win.

This is just plain craAAAAAAp.

Krol and his Kronies like to see candidates bloody each other. For instance, when candidates debate and compliment, Senior Smiles is sad because it makes his job harder. It is much easier to lead with “Oberweis wasted no time accusing Topinka of dating Satan…” than “Brady offered a solution to Illinois’ under funded pension plan”.

Similar to the car crash or burning building template, the “candidates bickering” piece is simple yet reveals little substance. In addition, it implies that Illinois voters only want mud. Although I am sure that our 16th President slowed to stare at a buggy wreck, Abe would never tolerate a jihad to trash his opponents.

So Mr. Oberweis, Brady and Gidwitz, don’t take the bearded one’s bait. Stay positive, offer us solutions and avoid a near occasion of simpleness.