Google's Muzzle

While I thumped my chest about the great Google, they stabbed me in the back.

Google is right to fight the Justice Department to defend our Bill of Rights.

But to gain more customers, Google cut a deal with the Chinese communists and agreed to censor its search results in the land of the Giant Panda.

Google’s new motto: Do no evil, except if we can gain access to 1.3 billion customers. Unless Google reverses its course, I will never use Google again. And for now, I'll search with my mamma.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha

As I grow older, I realize the true brilliance of Sherwood Schwartz, the father of the Brady Bunch.

Yes, we have learned that Mr. Brady was interested only in Sam the butcher's links, and Carol wanted to slip into Greg's groovy attic bedroom, but the TV Bradys were good, decent parents, who allowed their children to fall on their faces and learn from their mistakes.

Every episode portrayed a Brady kid with a problem--Mr. and Mrs. Brady, while offering food, shelter and love, told the kids it was their responsibility to find a solution. Maybe the Bradys could help some of today's "my great kid in a plastic bubble" parents; as Mom always said, don't play ball in the house.

So, to support Goggle’s First Amendment fight against the man, I wanted to share an important public service it now offers: on demand Brady Bunch, 24/7.

I am partial to every episode without Oliver; and I really enjoy when Marsha proves her mettle and joins Greg's scout troop.

What is your favorite episode? And does any character remind you of an Illinois politician?

Unbuckle that broke back belt buckle

I confess: I have watched two members of the same sex kiss—it was way sexy, artistic and on a globe replete with pain, war and horrific weather, quite the enjoyable distraction.

For you liberals: the two participants had signed lengthy waivers (in French) verifying their fathers had held them while encouraging them to explore careers in both math and science.

For you conservatives: first, don’t blush, do breath, and for God’s sake, take a tax deduction for your guilt. Second, remember, these perceived deviants are actual people, born from a womb and deserving of respect, dignity and the right to life.

For you in the Justice Department: Google this!

As you are all aware, the Bush administration now demands private help in their war against Osama and Playboy. No, the Patriot Act and wire-tapping are just not enough.

Now, the feds want to enlist private companies like Google, Yahoo, MSN, and who knows, maybe Illinoize, to spy for them.

Google has refused to comply; so, stand strong, Larry and Sergey. Watching you fight the G is the sexiest thing you two can do.

"Rod, thanks for your help" -- Joe

Like that affable Oscar, Rod is about to pop up again from his pail. No, not the Governor.

I speak of Sire Rod McCulloch, whom the late Steve Neal deemed “the nutty professor of Illinois politics”. The same GOP consultant who had JACK’s naughty, naughty divorce files months before the Chicago Tribune and ABC7 Chicago.

The media giants spent millions to break a court seal to learn that JACK liked sex (take a deep breath) with his wife, sans alien costume. Apparently, Oscar had the files all along—using each page as a coaster for his occasional cocktail.

Last November, DuPage State's Attorney Joe Birkett indicted McCulloch for forgery, alleging that the professor submitted bogus signatures on a candidate's nominating petitions. Serious charges indeed, and the grouch may have to bunk with that under sexed cellmate snuffleupagus. Ouchy.

But the professor will not go quietly into the night.

After indicting him, Joe Birkett’s campaign committee apparently blasted an email to McCulloch requesting his help passing Birkett’s nominating petitions for Lt. Guv.

Feeling blessed to be asked, and eager to help, apparently McCulloch put on his best pair of Wallaby’s and went to work, acquiring lots and lots of signatures for Birkett.

My hunch is that since Birkett declared very late, his team was happy to receive any petitions. So somewhere deep within Birkett’s filed signatures are probably petitions circulated by McColloch.

If so, it will be an interesting trial (and possible campaign issue), with Birkett's prosecutors having to explain to the jury why Birkett--after indicting Rod for forging signatures--asked Rod to circulate his petitions, and most importantly, used and benefited from the professor’s petitions to secure a spot on the ballot.

Nutty, indeed.

UPDATE: Contrary to my hunch, Rich Miller said Birkett's people told him they pulled McColloch's petitions. Easy to verify, so I doubt they are fibbing, but I am sure someone will check. If true, kudos to the Birkett team.

It still leaves open the issue of Birkett inviting McColloch via email to pass his petitions post indictment.